Heavy lids
Warmth with warning lurking around the corner of say two or three or four more pills
Nodding in the pillow checking in the mirror every so often
For eyes pinned
Yes I have been here before with this chemical sun rising in my body
Different with a sober head but I see that could change with a mere prescription refill

Why does it still call? Or do I just look for the memory in my bones for the golden narcotic glaze of youth

Take as directed for the day
What was that? Get a whore to suck and suck and suck my stoned cock because I know I won’t come for the full hour
Dark thoughts do open back up the door

Fuzzy protection from the world counting down to confusion as the four-hour time period between pills passes
I can see where I couldn’t figure much out at all after a few more murky days under this influence

More more, more, how do you like it, how do you like it…

Not a nod of pleasantries knowing this is just a mini doped vacation in eighteen years of sobriety
Incapacitated somewhat
Take the pain or take the pleasure
Not as worried now of the old slip slide but I have to say I am thinking about the pills in the vial. Vile actually how they creep up with warmth and cover your brain with such a sense of comfort and security…as the world starts to pass you by
Bye bye bye bye bye bye….
Inside looking out at the sun as if it would hurt to the touch of my skin
I who love the sun and the trees and the sky only wish to gaze upon it from my bedside with my own laboratory manufactured mother nature percocet river running though my body
Stay just a step ahead of the pain they said. Don’t let it start in or you’ll never be able to chase it away again, no matter how many pills
Hoping I just took my last one, please god and will wake up tomorrow with out the need
The knee, the need, the pain, the percocet calling
Managing so far praying not to go too far
I feel kindy dopey. Ha, ha.
Bedridden and forgotten just a shell scraped out by oxycodon
Cranky, crabby, whiny old junkie, monitoring my brain cushion body numbness and mood swings
It was not fun and games although I was led to believe it was. Led skipping on the percocet path until I could not find my way home.
Yes, I’m wasted and I can’t find my way home…

It took one and a half days for the percocet to get me. Nine pills, spread out over 36 hours and the clamped cold hand of the oxycodon reaper was firmly felt around my neck. Yes, it did start off as warmth. The first pill brought on a new dawn golden. Relief set in. Took over my meditation so when I tried it was like I had wet glue dripping over my brain. My body cramped up and there was, cold whistles in my head annoying to the point of insanity. Just a vicious scream of fuck. Pills were waiting. A blanket that warms then smothers.
Pray and cry, tears of surrender because I am powerless. See and feel the true sun. Each pill calling out of the vial like Sirens. Take me, take me, take me and be comforted…until you die.
Why all this vampire craze? It is a living death. So confused and irritated and diminished. Incomprehensible how fast the chemical seeps in and soothes me, fools me, lies to me until I am dragged under. False. False. False. So nefariously wicked. Horrifying. God set me free, I pray to you. Help. Please. The reprieve arrives.
Meanwhile, they’re just some fucking pills. Get over it.
Why is it so simple for some and so lethal for others to take these things? I will never know. I just can’t take them anymore, nevermore, nada, nunca and what a fucking pussy punta I am when that pimp Percocet calls my name.
Get the fuck outta town, will ya?